Web Traffic and Genital
So there you are at your client's cocktail
party, when some lugnut in a checkered sport coat ambles up to you and
starts bragging about his website for Remanufactured Hydraulic Prune Whip.
"We're getting 100,000 hits a day!" he brags, cramming another
brie-laced cracker into his face. "We'll probably be up to a million
by next month."
Yeah. Right. Maybe the guy's site really
is pulling megahits from his site. But who really cares? And does it really
matter? I've always found that the rules about bragging apply as much
to web traffic as they do to genital size: everyone brags about how big
they are, but the guys running around with smiles on their faces know
that it's effectiveness that counts. Personally, I prefer Low Volume Sites
to High Volume Sites, and if you're still with me, here's why:
High Volume Sites are traffic-intensive.
They depend on large numbers of visitors to ensure their success. They
are, not unlike Porsches and supermodels, high-maintenance propositions
-- come to think of it, both are also prone to generate a fair amount
of whining. That's due to Frankel's Theorem of High Volume Sites, which
states "the more repeat visitors you get, the more often you have
to change your site's content". Nothing turns people off faster than
visiting a site they expect to change daily, only to be greeted by the
same stuff the saw last Tuesday. And once you burn a visitor, they're
gone. Like forever.
The problem I have with High Volume Sites
is their hidden agenda, in which actual content matters less than selling
ad space on the site. I'm still waiting to hear from anyone who's made
a major profit this way, but the real point here, is that if you don't
need high volume, why bother? Go for what most of us really need: quality
And quality, in my book, is spelled L-O-W
Low Volume Sites are the exact opposite
of the High Volume Site: They don't require lots of traffic to be successful
and for total capability presentations that are open more hours than your
local Stop'N'Shop, you can't beat a Low Volume Site. In the first place,
visitors to a Low Volume Site are almost always people who have specifically
sought you out. They spend more time at your site. And if they like what
they see, they have a higher propensity to buy what you're selling.
Low Volume Sites also save you time by
screening out the people who DON'T want what you're selling. Hard as it
may be to believe, not everyone who visits the Frankel & Anderson
site falls in love with our style of Advertising, Marketing & Killer
Creative. Since a visit to the site tells them all they need to know,
it's saved us both a lot of time and money. Conversely, those who DO fall
in love with our impish-yet-strategically-intensive samples save time
and money by cutting out the introductory meetings and getting straight
The fact is that unless you're running
a website as a business in and of itself, trying to create high volume
traffic for your site is a major waste of time, chiefly because updating
content and generating publicity campaigns take you away from what you
normally do for a living. Listing with engines? Sure. Sourcing links?
Absolutely. Identifiers in your sig line? Bien sur! But let's not get
carried away, eh?
The next time the knucklehead in the checkered
sport coat starts bragging about his hit rate, hit him with one of your
own: ask him what his hit-to-sales ratio is. Then tell him how yours measures
And don't forget to smile.